Breakups can be tough, they can be really tough. They can be difficult both mentally and emotionally and can drag on for a very long time. But at some point you do need to pick yourself back up and throw yourself out there. Sometimes you just need to realize that moving on is the only way to heal. In this article you’ll learn how to start dating again after breakup.
This does not mean that you should jump headfirst into another relationship. In fact that is the opposite of what I recommend you doing. This is especially true if you have recently just broke up or were in a very long relationship. I usually give myself some time to heal and focus on myself right after breakup.
But if it has been sometime since the breakup and you feel like you are mentally ready to start dating again, this guide is for you. Dating again after a breakup should be something that you dip your toes in to test the waters. Here are my top five tips on how to start dating again after a breakup.
1) You need to get comfortable in your own skin again
Feeling fully comfortable with yourself can be quite difficult after a tough breakup. in the time that you are single/looking you need to focus on yourself a lot.
Nobody will be able to have a good relationship with you if you are not happy with yourself or content with who you are. You cannot rely on another person making you happy. You need to be able to make yourself happy before you can be in a relationship. Loving yourself is the first step towards being non-attached to dating or a relationship.
Trust me once you are fully comfortable and happy with yourself, the perfect person will find their way into your life!
2) You need to play the field to see what’s out there
You need to avoid hopping in any sort of relationship right after a breakup. Some people can’t help but to automatically search for a relationship right out of the gate. I want you to control this instinct and to let yourself play the field at least for a little while. If you jump into a relationship too soon your closing the gate to tons of other potential men and women (And ones that might be much better suited to you).
If you have never gotten involved with online dating, this would be the perfect time to do it. This is by far the best way to see how many fish in the sea are out there. If you just limit yourself to the people at work or the people that live near you, you are severely limiting yourself to what’s out there.
Check out some of my articles on the top dating websites. My personal favorites are match.com or eHarmony but there are many others to choose from. Make sure to create a stunning profile for yourself to have the most success!
3) You need to make a plan to better yourself
This time should not just be spent looking for someone to date but to get out there and develop some talents as well. If you have always wanted to join a gym, this would be a perfect time to do it. Exercise will not only be an excellent release but it will also give you a huge boost in confidence. If you have always wanted to learn how to paint, join a painting class and get after it.
Self-improvement is a fantastic way to make yourself feel better while at the same time networking with new people. Who knows you may even run into a super cute girl/guy while you are at the gym or at your painting class!
One of my personal favorites is to learn a new language. Not only is this extremely gratifying but if you are planning on traveling in the near future they could come in handy as well! Try to take on Spanish so that you can travel around South America and meet your Latin lover!
4)You need to pick your dates wisely
What is the best way to start dating again after a breakup? You need to be extremely picky with the people you are choosing to go out with! This is another reason not to jump right into a relationship after breaking up. You need to get to know the intentions, likes and dislikes of a potential person to go out with otherwise it could be a disaster.
This is another reason why online dating is excellent. You will have so many more people to choose from and the chances of finding somebody compatible is much higher. In fact the success rates and marriage rates are much much lower for individuals that met online compared to real life. This makes sense due to the fact that you have a much larger pool of individuals to choose from and are more likely to find somebody extremely compatible.
The best way to weed out bad dates or matches online is to ask them important questions to find out their true core values. This will make sure you are not wasting your time with people that you don’t see eye to eye with.
5) You need to take a leap of faith in order to succeed
In order to eventually start dating after a breakup it is extremely important to let go of your past relationship. if your previous relationship was toxic or if you are cheated on, it might be hard to trust again.
It is important to realize that not all people are the same. You need to let go of your package in order to have a successful trusting relationship in the future. Although it is perfectly natural to assume the worst in people especially after a toxic relationship. You need to have faith that there are good people out there and that you will not be treated in the same manner that you were in your previous relationship.
This requires a leap of faith on your part. Dating again after her breakup should feel like a clean slate. It can definitely be scary at first getting back into the dating scene. Putting yourself out there will be intimidating at first but will feel much better in the end.
What not to do in regards to dating after a breakup
Your are some simple tips I recommend to you in order to get back into dating after your break up. All of these things might be extremely tempting at first but they are crucial to your success.
- Do not text or call your ex to try to get them back. This is the most important thing. You will feel lonely at times after a breakup and that is completely normal. You have gotten accustomed to having someone in your life and it is not very easy to be single again. You need to remember that you broke up for a good reason.
- Don’t date immediately after the breakup. As I mentioned above, you need some time to yourself in order to find peace. This should be your time to work on yourself. Jumping into a relationship right afterwards will severely limit your possibilities of possibly meeting a much better match.
- Once you start dating again, don’t carry your bad package from your previous relationship. If you are doing this, it means that you haven’t fully let go and have not come to peace with yourself. You need to give the courtesy of a “clean slate” to all potential individuals that you are dating. These people are not your ex boyfriend/girlfriend. Do not judge them as if they were.
How to start dating again after a breakup – conclusion
Well that’s about it ladies and gentlemen on my guide on how to start dating again after a breakup. I hope that this was useful to some of you!
My biggest recommendation for getting started with dating after your break up is to sign up to an online dating site. This is very noncommittal and it can simply be just to browse what kind of options are available to you in your city. When online dating first started to become popular there was a lot of skepticism and judging for the people that were using. Now and days it is completely normal and accepted by the majority of people as a legitimate way to meet others. Don’t be limited to the people you see on a day-to-day basis at work or in your neighborhood. If you do, you are severely limiting your options to what is actually available!
Leave me a comment down below if you enjoyed my guide on how to start dating again after breakup. Do you guys have any other tips on dating again? I will get back to your comments as soon as I can. In the meantime, put yourself out there and get back in the scene. I guarantee that you will not regret it!