CHAPTER 8 – What is in Between Seeing Each Other?

CHAPTER 8 – What is in Between Seeing Each Other?

In almost every long-distance relationship, the hardest part is the time spent alone between visits, and not many people can endure that mentally and emotionally.

And the mixed feelings get even more intense a few days after you’ve met up and had to be separated again and knowing that this could go on for a longer period of time than you’ve expected can surely drive you crazy.

The same applies to your partner too. After all, we’re just human beings, and we want to love and to be loved, but when someone who you love is so far away, we start to drift away from our feelings about that person.

You will surely encounter lots of problems and emergencies which may harm your relationship, and it’s up to you, as a couple, to make the right decisions.

Nevertheless, you have to stay strong and all the problems you encounter you need to solve together because no matter what happens at least you should be happy that you’ve been in each other’s lives for some period of time.

The One Who Moved On and the One Who Got Left Behind

There’s no doubt about it that it feels worse to get left behind than it is to break up with someone and just move on with your life.

But how do you move on from a life you’ve lived basically till yesterday? Well, there are many factors that come into place when you make such a bold of breaking up or being left behind, and it’s up to you to see how to escape the chaos with minor consequences.

And also, this depends if you’re male or female as well because men and women usually react differently to break-ups, but at the end, they both accept the fact their single now, each at their own pace.

Moving On

If you’re the one who took the initiative and broke up the relationship and decided to move forward with your life than that’s perfectly fine if you ask me. Because it would be torture for both of you if you’ve stayed in a relationship which seems that it won’t work out in the long run.

There are tons of reasons why you should move on if it seems that things won’t work out. Maybe you don’t have time anymore because of work, you have a career waiting for you or you’re just not feeling like having a long-distance relationship anymore.

Either way, you shouldn’t feel bad for ending it all, but you should still be friend with your ex because at least you’ve spent some time together, and that should be a good memory to have and not a bad one.

Now, you might be wondering how to move on from such a relationship, and you’ve probably had some of these questions in your mind:

  1. Should I be alone for some time and focus on myself?
  2. Should I try having a long-distance relationship in the future?
  3. Was all of this just a waste of time?
  4. Am I able to continue being single?

You see, the answers for all of these questions depend a lot on your personality and how you generally handle tough times in life, but one thing is for certain, and that is that your long-distance relationship wasn’t a waste of time.

At least now you know how it feels to be in a long-distance relationship and who knows maybe you will have another one in the future, maybe this one was just a trial and error kind of relationship.

It may take some time to move on, and you may feel like a bad person for pulling the trigger on the relationship first, but at the end of the day, you should feel much happier because you’ve listened to your heart and did the right thing.

Being Left Behind

Now, on the opposite side of the spectrum, we have the situation when you’re the one who is being left behind, which is not a great feeling, to say the least.

And if or when that happens, please don’t play the pity game because you’ll just end up looking desperate and will feel lousy about yourself later because you’ve practically embarrassed yourself because of one relationship.

Except it as a mature adult and try not to take it too personal, because, even though it’s harder for people who are dumped than for those who’ve moved on, you still shouldn’t hold any resentment towards your ex-partner if he or she did the best they could to end the relationship in a calm way without arguing.

Of course, many relationships don’t end that way, and because of that, you shouldn’t feel sad either, because it seems to me that you’ve dodged a bullet if at the end of the relationship your partner turns out to be a heartless sociopath.

Anyway, as we already mentioned, men and women react differently when a relationship is over, and it’s even more noticeable when they’re the ones who are being left behind.

Men usually act like they don’t care when they end a relationship, but that only last for a month or two and then they start to feel bad about themselves and do stupid things in order to either get their ex-partner back or get a new partner.

Women, on the other hand, do the exact opposite. They feel lousy and insecure after a break-up which can last for months, but, when they finally get over it, they handle the situation much more like a grown up then men do.

Who is the winner in this situation is a matter of opinion, but in the end, both men and women do feel lonely when they get dumped, which can be hard at times but you have to bounce back quickly on to your feet and move on too.

Apart together and long distance rituals

We all already know that one of the biggest drawbacks of long distance rituals is not being able to share day to day things and experiences with each other.

No matter if we are talking about watching a Netflix series together, going for a run together, cooking once a week, or splashing cold water at your partner when it was your turn to do the dishes.

To get over this more easily, you might want to come up with some ideas and create rituals that you can commit to, even when you are so far away from each other.

Long distance partners can easily stay connected through different creative ways and small gestures that keep them connected.

Here are some:

1. Send good morning messages

It may sound sappy, but if you text your loved one good morning or call them to wish them a good day, it just may make your day start a little bit happier.

There is something so good in knowing that your partner is thinking about you from the moment they wake up, right?

Besides, exchanging a few quick words, a plan for the day, or talking about what you have dreamt (if you have enough time for that, it is), will keep you connected and involved in your partner’s life.

2. Plan date nights

True, you cannot sit in the same room, but we already went through the importance of dates in long distance relationships.

So having a night in once a week, watching or having a game night can really create so many memories for the two of you.

3. Send photo texts of your day

With all the technological achievements, it is so easy to communicate all day, and you should definitely use the best of it.

You can send your partner photos of simple things that you are doing several times a day, just to keep them posted.

A photo of your morning coffee or an interesting cloud that you saw that day will keep you involved, and you can enjoy some nice pictures.

4. Send care packages

This is something that can bring so much fun to both of you.

Who doesn’t like presents? Especially when they are unexpected!

Keeping this little secret to yourself and enjoying the fun once your partner finds the package is immense!

5. Laugh together

There is an important emotional bond that creates when the two of you laugh together.

Send each other jokes, funny videos, and pictures, and never forget to laugh with one another.

6. Don’t forget about the romance

Don’t forget to show each other the attraction you feel.

Romance is one of the hardest things to maintain throughout a long distance relationship, so do not forget to feed it.

Send each other love letters, talk to each other in a romantic way. And never forget to show your partner how much you appreciate them.

7. Order them lunch at work

Check with their friend, see if they have something arranged for that day already. And if not, order them a nice lunch to be delivered at their home or office.

8. Send them a song you know they love

If they listen to a radio station while they are driving, you might as well go through some trouble and call the radio station to dedicate a song they love to them.

9. Flirt with each other

And most importantly, never forget to flirt.

Maybe you can even meet in online chat rooms and flirt under aliases. This could be a fun game to play for both. And who knows where it might lead.

Monogamy

Long-distance relationships are a bit different than the standard ones and especially when it comes to cheating and infidelity.

As we mentioned before, cheating is a deal breaker in any relationship, and it’s really hard to know whether your partner is cheating or not because you don’t live close enough to keep such close tabs on him or her.

The thing is that people get tempted to cheat in a long-distance relationship, mainly for two reasons:

  1. They get tired of waiting for you to visit them or them to visit you and they maybe meet someone new who lives close to them so because they feel alone at times they just give up to their desires.
  2. They are disappointed in the relationship and don’t want to be in it anymore, so they compensate it by cheating because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

Either way, cheaters aren’t excused from their behavior and aren’t the type of people you want to be in a relationship so you need to exclude them from your life as quick as you can. You will certainly be hurt and feel like you’ve been fooled for the whole time you were in a relationship, but you’ll get over it eventually.

The key here is that in order for a long-distance relationship to work you need to trust your partner and show them that you care about them so that they know that the relationship is actually worth the effort.

Flirting

Most relationships tend to get boring after a while, and then you start remembering how it was all cute before you’ve even started dating and start wondering where did all the chemistry disappear?

Flirting is the best way to maintain interest in the relationship, and if you think about it, flirting is what got you into the relationship in the first place so you should take this to your advantage.

It can also be used to reignite the spark you’ve maybe lost because you’ve been in a relationship for such a long time and things are going great, and you think it’s unnecessary to change anything, but the truth is just because a couple seems to be doing just fine without any flirtation or even saying the occasional “I love you”, doesn’t mean it will last.

Additionally, flirting is what keeps the relationship fun and exciting which, along with trust, caring and love, is essential for keeping the relationship healthy and stopping your partner from straying off.

If you’re wondering how to flirt here are some tips you can do daily or occasionally just to show your significant other that they are special to you:

  1. Call your partner at least once a day. No. Make it twice a day. This way you’re showing that you’re not too busy to at least have a phone call with them every day and that they are more important to you than other things in life.
  2. If you’re a guy send cute love letters, poems, and pictures because girls go crazy for that stuff. It maybe works if you’re a girl too.
  3. Have nicknames for each other. Some people might find it cringy, but who cares. You’re in love.
  4. Tease your partner and tell funny jokes because everyone likes to laugh, and we find people who have a sense of humor to be more interesting than the ones who don’t.

The list can go on and on because flirting depends on what type of a person you and your partner are so some couples might like to flirt more than others. You know better than we do.

Keep in mind that flirting can sometimes sound corny, so if a flirting joke doesn’t work the first time don’t try to use it again. Also, don’t try to flirt your way out of a serious conversation, because you’ll end up looking like a jerk who doesn’t listen.

Handling Emergencies When You’re Apart

For some sad reason, the only time we see who go through thick and thin with us is the time of emergency. And emergencies come in all shapes and forms, but the worst thing of all is that they usually come up in the worst possible time.

And there are different types of emergencies such as:

  1. Serious emergencies – Literally any life-altering situation you can think off, for example, death of a family member, car crash, losing a job you’ve worked for the last 5 years and so on.
  2. More mild emergencies – Something your partner can help you with physically or emotionally, or maybe you need to hear their voice just for support.
  3. Fake emergencies – You can fake an emergency just so you can see how they react and later say that you love them for caring, but I can’t guarantee that your partner will be thrilled with this so do it at your own risk.

If an emergency has occurred, you should contact your partner immediately to inform them what has happened, so I suggest you both have your phones on you at any given time, so that it doesn’t take a whole day for you to contact each other.

Also, you need to make sure you have the phone numbers of people that live by your partners such as neighbors, friends and even family. Having the phone number of some of her or his co-workers is helpful also.

At the end of the day, you need support from your partner as much as they need support from you and it’s really important that you have someone who you can call in case of anything bad happening, but you also have to be ready to comfort and help your partner as well if they experience an emergency as well.

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