CHAPTER 3 – Exploring Your Long Distance Relationship

CHAPTER 3 - Exploring Your Long Distance Relationship

How Far is Too Far and How Long is Too Long?

Many of you have probably heard numerous stories about how long distance relationships can work only if the “long” distance includes only a few miles.

We wish that it was all it takes for a relationship to work.

Luckily for all of you in “longer” distance relationships “a few miles distance”, whatever it should mean, is not necessary for a successful long distance relationship.

It all depends solely on you and your partner, and you should definitely not listen to other people saying you what is normal and what will work for you, no matter how much well-meaning these people saying stories might be.

So, let’s discover more!

The Distance Between

Many types of research have been done about long distance relationships or on long distance couples, and not a single one stated that the very distance between the people was connected to the quality of the relationship.

Now, a common sense would tell you that the closer you are, more often, you two will see each other. And the more you see each other, the happier you two will be with your relationship.

Right?

Well, not necessarily.

As a matter of fact, there is no correlation between how often partners visit each other and how good your relationship is.

So, why did we mention the distance in the first place if it is not that important?

Well, even though it is not something that will doom your relationship, it is certainly much easier to cope with the separation when the distance is shorter.

FACT #3 – What is much more important in a successful long distance relationship are the factors that you cannot control, and not the distance, since it is just not something that you can chose.

The Duration of Separation

The same studies that were looking into the distance and how it affects the quality of the relationship have discovered that not only the duration of separation but the expectations of separation can affect the relationship much more.

If the couple knows that they had to be separated for 5 years, they would be extremely unhappy from the very beginning, and maybe they wouldn’t even try to make it work.

Now, even though the distance is not something that we can control, and the duration of separation is, we tend to forget it and just say that “it is how it has to be”.

We are very well aware of the cost and trouble that one has to go through to move, but we surely shouldn’t act as there is nothing we can do to help it.

This passive outlook on the relationship makes it even worse, because, when you “just can’t do anything about it”, you would give up much faster than when you aware of the fact that you can but just need a bit more effort to do it.

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