One of the biggest questions I get here at online4love is why it is so hard to find a girlfriend or boyfriend now and days?
In general, everyone knows that loves hard to find. But is it getting more difficult in our generation? But Amy, will I ever find love again? Well, slow down, let’s not go overboard with saying something like that.
In this article I’ll be talking about why dating is so hard in the modern world and what are some things we can do about it to find that special person and be successful with dating!
By the end, I promise you will feel better about the future of dating, and by following some tips, you might feel downright confident. Let’s get right into it.
Why is it so hard to find a girlfriend or boyfriend?
Here I will be talking about the biggest reasons why it’s so hard to find a boyfriend or girlfriend in our modern society.
We are becoming too picky
For the most part, men and women are usually on one extreme or the other on how picky they are when choosing a person to go out with.
On one end, some people will go out with anybody that says hello to them. On the other end, some people are so picky that they go on one date a year, maximum.
In general, I think the current trend is leading to all of this being pickier than we should. I blame a lot of the television that we are watching as well as the media. All we see over and over again on Instagram, magazines and television series are perfect couples.
These perfect couples do not exist in the real world. These are fictional characters that nobody should be striving to be because it is just not realistic.
It seems like our emotions run higher from the drama television series that our real-world interactions and conversations. This could be numbing us down and making our perception of reality in relationships something that is virtually unattainable.
I’m not saying that we should not have standards with the people we date or the relationships that we build. All I am saying is that we need to have more flexibility and realize that every person is and will be different than your ideal person. And this is not necessarily a bad thing.
Social media can consume us too much
Going off what I was talking about above with how social media and television is changing our perception. In general, we are paying so much more attention to social media than we actually should be.
We are trying to impress our digital friends more than we are trying to put one step forward in the real relationships and our lives.
We are more concerned about social media followers then a compliment somebody gives us face-to-face. This is a real problem as it makes us ignore what is in front of our eyes, as we pay attention more and more to our screen.
A simple solution to this is to put down our phones every once in a while and enjoy the real world. Something I have been practicing is to put my phone on silent mode and try my hardest not to check it for a period of one or two hours during the day. This is especially true with I am out with family or friends.
By not looking at her screen so much you might notice that cute guy or girl that smiles at you from across the street. You also appear to be more open and approachable when you are not so closed off and in your world.
There’s no time in this fast-paced world
It seems as the years go by, life is getting more and more fast-paced. It looks like there is less and less time each day to enjoy the simple things and to sit back and relax.
Because of this, lots of people think that getting into a relationship will only take away more of their free time that they already have.
But why do we feel like we have a lot less time in this fast-paced world? What changed over the last 20 years besides technology and the Internet?
Overall the invention of the Internet was supposed to make everything more streamlined and comfortable, so it can free up more time for us. At least that’s what I think the Internet was meant for. It makes communication so much easier, but somehow were ending up communicating less and on a more superficial level.
So how is all of this possible? Well, I think a big part of it has to do with how much time we waste on the Internet. The Internet can be incredibly distracting overall, as I mentioned in my previous points. You might not realize how much time you waste on the Internet without using it what it was initially meant to do, free up time.
One tip I have for you that will free up a lot of time is only to use the applications that can help you be productive or make real meaningful connections with someone. I will talk about some applications in which you can do this further down in the article.
Why is dating so hard in 2019?
Okay, let’s say that you get through all of the hoops and hurdles you have to jump through to get a date. Even after the struggle to get here, that’s not even half of the overall battle.
The tricky thing is navigating through the wild waters of dating. O Brother, dating can be such a headache. But why is dating so hard in 2019? Here minute talk about the most critical aspects why most people have trouble getting past the dating stage and into the relationship stage.
Fear of commitment
Probably one of the biggest reasons why dating is so hard is due to the fear of commitment from both men and women. This has to do partly with the fact that we are scared of losing her free time.
People go into a date with a ton of borders and boundaries set up right in front of them. A lot of people go into dates already knowing that it’s going to fail, and for that reason don’t even try.
These boundaries that I talk about set up failure before it even has a chance to take place.
Fear of a failed relationships
Another big reason why dating is difficult comes from a place of pain. A lot of people have experienced heartbreak and discomfort in previous relationships.
This heartbreak also creates an invisible barrier that is tough to break through. It is human instinct to try to avoid painful situations that one has experienced previously.
Most people do not even know that they have this barrier. It is simply much easier to keep one’s distance then to let somebody into their life with the potential of harming them is on point.
Extremely high standards
As I discussed before, peoples standards of the perfect mate are getting higher and higher due to the media and television. This is especially true with the older we get as we build different values and appreciate various aspects of personality.
I advise you to try to watch your thinking when you are on a first date or when you meet somebody for the first time. A lot of people think about the negative aspects or qualities of a person before they try to notice the positive ones.
Once again, having standards is not a bad thing. But we need to learn how to be more flexible to enjoy other people’s perspectives and flaws because since we are all human, we all have them.
Some people think online dating is a waste of time for men and women
A lot of people come to my website and reach out to me considering that online dating is a waste of time for both men and women. Well, it depends on a lot of different factors in how you are approaching online dating in general.
Why is online dating so hard?
So why do people think that online dating is so hard? Well, I had experienced this as well when I was first started dipping my toes into the online dating scene.
In fact, I was super skeptical about online dating because it would just be another application that I would have on my phone. This would cause me to waste more time online, and that is something I was trying to avoid to focus on real relationships and real dating completely.
Most people think online dating is super hard because they are probably trying to use it as a typical social media platform. They are using it to build a lot of weak connections (followers) and or to boost their egos by seeing people sending them “likes” or “winks.”
That was how I was as well approximately ten years ago. I have a much healthier perspective when it comes online dating that I used to. And because of this, I have been able to find lots of great people, make real connections and go on some fantastic dates.
I am still a big proponent of staying away from social media for the reasons that a mentioned above. I do not consider online dating a social media platform. I use it to find people that meet my standards and to build real connections.
The fact of the matter is, since we do have higher standards in this day and age, it is highly unlikely you will find the love of your life face-to-face. Online dating opens up a lot more possibilities because it introduces us to so many people and allows us to search and filter through a wide variety of different individuals.
It lets us get out of our bubbles of work, school, and family and allows us to explore all of the other different possibilities and personalities that might mesh very well with our own.
I highly suggest that you avoid dating websites that try to appear like social media platforms. A lot of dating websites that are similar to social media platforms attract people that are looking for attention instead of looking for a real connection, relationships or a serious date.
You want to try and avoid the people like this at all costs, and they typically congregate in free dating platforms such as Tinder, plenty of fish or other free services. Most people come out of the service extremely frustrated and have the attitude of “why is online dating so hard!?”.
Instead, I suggest real websites where the majority of the users are looking to make real connections. Some of the excellent sites that I have discovered include eHarmony and match.com.
Match.com is a fantastic website for searching and filtering through a wide variety of traits to find people that would be highly compatible with you.
On the other hand, eHarmony has a fantastic matchmaking algorithm that has been proven to send you highly compatible matches directly to your inbox every day.
Both sites are highly secure and have identification verification features so that you know the users are legitimate.
So, will I ever find love again?
Well, if you’ve made it this far, you probably have a good understanding of why dating is so hard in 2019.
Although the Internet has brought us a lot of fantastic things in ways to communicate, our communication depth has been reduced overall.
I am an advocate of trying to minimize social media interactions due to these week connections that we build.
We need to focus on building stronger connections with one another because that is indeed what we are missing in this modern society.
I truly believe that online dating is not a waste of time for men or women. It merely depends on the attitude that you have going into it as well as which sites you sign up for.
And although Love is super hard to find, I have hope that we can all find the perfect match as long as we keep searching, keep positive and go in with the right mindset. Be open to new connections, possibilities and try to be as flexible as you can with your standards and I guarantee that you will find the absolute best boyfriend or girlfriend for you!
Thanks for stopping by everyone at online4love! Leave a comment down below if you would like to share any dating or relationship experience that you have had. I will get back to you as soon as I can 🙂