Tune into any radio station and after a short amount of time, you will hear a song play about unrequited love. The music industry makes a fortune out of our inability to look towards the future instead of peering back in the rearview mirror.
It is ingrained into our DNA. We often romanticize a past boyfriend or girlfriend until we totally forget the bad times and only remember the good.
Remember those times when your ex harassed your friends or threw out your stuff out on the street? You must have forgotten since you can’t get over them. Instead, you think about those nights on the couch binge-watching Netflix.
While binge-watching with someone you care about can be extremely enjoyable, it is nothing to build a relationship around. If your closeness with your significant other is based on spending hours in front of a tv, then you might want to rethink what the future has in store for the two of you.
It Is Hard to Move On
We tend to look back at relationships in the past instead of focusing on the new ones that are just ahead on the horizon. This happens to almost all of us. We meet an ideal person to start dating somewhere but we don’t pull the trigger because the ghost of our ex is still hovering over us.
You probably meet at least two or three eligible single people every week that would be relationship material worthy, but you just don’t make the move on it. The worst part is that those people will soon be off the market and you will end up regretting that as well.
Living your life with constant regret is not a good thing.
How Do People Move On In the First Place?
There are those rare people that once the relationship ends, they never think about the other person again. It is like they are half robot and half human and can turn off their emotions instantly.
We have all probably had an experience with these types of exes, and if you are like the rest of us, it drives you even crazier. How can they move on the second someone says, “I think we need a break”?
But then there are those on the other hand that keeps on coming back for encore performances by dating the same person off and on for years. (You can just bet your family and friends are having a blast with something like this behind your back.)
If you keep on going back to your ex, you are merely treading water until they find someone they like more than you. It is bound to happen so just go ahead and tear off that Band-Aid in one quick motion.
Why Do I Find Parting Ways So Difficult?
When a breakup happens, it is hitting you on all fronts. It just isn’t you and your boyfriend or girlfriend calling it quits. This area of your life is dying.
Those friendships you formed with their family and friends are likely going to end. It is part of being an adult. You can’t have a clean break if you are still talking with people that are related to your ex.
Maybe you think that this failed relationship reflects poorly on you. Perhaps you believe people will think of you as a failure. Stop worrying about what other people will think.
I’ve got news for you: Almost all relationships fail. Half of all marriages end due to divorce. And just getting to the marriage stage, you probably have gone through ten or more relationships and they all ended as well.
It happens to everyone. Repeating this mantra to yourself will help you keep this in mind. And eventually, everyone else comes out of it, too.
Everything happens for a reason. You will get this advice from all of your family and friends. You may not believe it at the moment, but hopefully, you soon will.
That person you just couldn’t live without will soon be a memory that you will like to forget.
Listed below are just a few ways to help you move on from your ex so you aren’t thinking of them every waking hour. The hurt will start growing less and less every day and after a while, you will wonder why you were ever stuck on them in the first place.
Take a Leave of Absence From Social Media
Remember when social media first started and it was all still kind of friendly and a safe place to waste some time? Instead, it seems now people go on social media to argue and stalk others. Don’t be the ex that starts stalking your former boyfriend or girlfriend.
If you are truly trying to get over a breakup, take a leave from social media. Delete your account with the knowledge that you can always come back later. If you don’t, you will be too tempted to check out what your ex is currently doing.
And God forbid you should see your ex in a picture with the opposite sex! Your mind will start to spin out of control and you can forget about getting any sleep in the near future. You will be thinking over and over, “I miss my ex-girlfriend” until your head explodes.
Just let your closest friends and family know that you will be absent on there for a while, so if they need to reach you, call or text. When it is all said and done, you may not even want to go back on social media!
Take a Lesson From Frozen
Elsa from Frozen had the right idea. You just have to let it go sometimes! Let go of the mantra that is going through your head saying, “I miss my ex-boyfriend”.
You don’t have to be happy about it and it is okay to shed a few tears, but take a deep breath and move on. Time waits for no one and any time you spend playing the “What If” game is time you will never get back.
Just Because Something Is Familiar Does Not Mean It Is Right For You
We all tend to lean toward things that we are familiar with. We go to the same restaurants over and over and visit the same places as well. Familiarity brings a peaceful feeling with it. That is why you keep asking yourself, “Why can’t I get over him?”.
But this doesn’t mean you should stay with someone just because you have built up a familiarity with them. Change is the spice of life. You can keep your old jeans, baseball cap, and favorite soda, but get rid of the dead weight.
Avoid Asking Others For Advice
We all want to know what others would do in our situation when a relationship ends. But don’t go around asking for advice from a million people. If you start asking your guy friends too many times, “Why can’t I get over her?”, they will eventually take away your man card.
If they are your friends, they will simply tell you what you want to hear. If they are your family, they will say you are better off without the person. Advice like this doesn’t really mean anything.
Just stop talking about how your relationship ended unless it is to a medical professional that gets paid to offer their thoughts. If you believe in counseling, then perhaps you should check it out. They will be a third party that is not interested in taking sides.
Leave the House
The last thing you often want to do when dealing with heartache is to get up and leave your house. It becomes your sanctuary and Batcave where you can do all of your brooding. Bruce Wayne can do this and look cool, but you cannot.
But sequestering yourself from the rest of humanity is not going to make you feel better. In fact, it will make you even more depressed than you are right now.
You can start off with small steps like visiting the library or going for a walk in the park. Keep pushing yourself to leave the house every now and then even if it is the last thing you want to do.
Take the High Road
Everyone wants to hear the dish when a major breakup happens. That is half the fun unless you are the ones ending the relationship.
It is okay to confide with your closest friend, but badmouthing your ex to anyone that will listen is not very becoming. If people start hearing you shoot off your mouth about your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, it will have the opposite effect.
Everyone will understand why the relationship did not work… and most of the fingers will be pointed at you.
Avoid the Instant Rebound
People generally want to have a rebound date with someone pretty quickly after a relationship ends. But don’t do this. Avoid the rebound sex with a stranger as well while you are at it.
Rebound dates just lead to regret. Plus, there is a good chance that you will hurt the person’s feelings as they learn that you just used them up and spit them out.
When you have had proper time to mend your broken heart, you can start checking out who is available on dating apps and websites. You know, just to see what else is out there. It can be quite a realization to many that the best place to meet somebody else in this day and age is with online dating such as Match.com or eHarmony. This way you won’t be limited to just your small town or be lost in the dating world as a small fish in a huge pond.
Reconnect with Friends and Family
Romantic relationships often have a way of consuming every inch of your life. But this is done so at the expense of spending time with your family and friends.
Once your ex is out of the picture, this allows for much more time to spend with your family. And remember those friends that you stopped hanging out with once you started dating your boyfriend or girlfriend? You might have to start with an apology, but reconnecting with them will help you get over missing your ex.
Start a Fitness Routine
Exercise can help push the blues away. Whether it is walking around the block or going for a bike ride, you will instantly feel better as it releases endorphins in the brain that will improve your mood.
But why stop there? Get your face out there and join a fitness class or two. You may just wind up meeting your future husband or wife.
There is no better place to meet someone than at the gym. Right away, you know they are health conscious and interested in maintaining their appearance.
Plus, would you really rather meet someone at the bar? Alcohol has a way of promoting bad decisions and the last thing you need is help in this area.
There are whole communities of like-minded individuals that will take you in as you learn Crossfit or strength training. When one door closes, another one opens.
Take a Class
You are never too old to learn a new skill. To help you get over missing your ex, check out what classes they offer at your local junior college that you might be interested in.
Have you always wanted to learn how to be a better photographer? Now is the time to do so.
Ever wanted to take a woodworking workshop so you can start being handy around the house? No time like the present.
Perhaps you are wanting to delve into your inner soul and start writing that book that you have been thinking about writing forever. Take a writing course to help guide you through the steps.
You may just find a new calling and you will be able to owe it all to your relationship ending as it allowed you time to improve yourself.
Time Heals All Wounds
Time has a way of fixing almost everything. Those fragile emotions that you are maybe feeling right now will start shrinking with time.
There will come a moment when you will run into your ex out on the street and it won’t even matter one bit to you. It will be just like any other day.
You must believe that this will eventually happen to you. If you can’t get over your ex quite yet, give it some time and soon enough you will be able to hear their name and it won’t shake you to your core. Your broken heart will mend and you will be ready to love another.