Chapter 5 – Profile Write up for Men

Chapter 5 – Profile Write up for Men

You all know that sometimes, women can be a bit complicated.

Therefore, it is not an easy task for a man to write a winning online dating profile. Here are some useful tips that could help you get started with that.

1. Focus on details

Over the world, there are hundreds of online dating websites and tens of thousands of profiles. Now, you may think to yourself that the numbers are huge and that all of those profiles are different from one another.

Though every person is somehow different than everyone else, it doesn’t have to mean that their online profiles are different as well.

Some people don’t want to spend much time on writing their profile, so they just write generic things that, in the end, don’t say a lot about themselves. That’s where they are wrong because details are what matters.

Let’s explain what we mean by that.

Wrong!

’32-years-old man looking for a beautiful woman to spend nice moments with.’

Right!

‘Hi everyone! My name is Marc, and I am 32-years-old. I am a basketball coach at junior high school. I like going for longs walks.

It helps me think about developing game strategies and the ways of helping those young boys grow up to be good people.

Apart from that, in my free time, I like to cook something nice and relax by watching a good movie.

Due to my busy line of job, it is hard to meet someone nice.

So, if you are feeling a bit intrigued and want to know more about me, perhaps even give me some cooking tips, feel free to send me a message.’

These two examples are very much different, as you can see.

The first one is kind of generic, you can’t learn much about the person by reading it.

However, in the second example, you can learn a lot more about the guy, what is his job, what he likes to do in his free time.

In order to attract someone, you need to give them some details, to intrigue them enough to message you.

If you just say that you are a man looking for a woman to spend nice moments with, you are no different than thousands of other guys who are looking for the same.

But, adding some details to your profile will make it look alive and more interesting to the people reading it on the opposite side of the screen.

2. Do not be afraid to be romantic

Do you know how men like to tease and make fun of guys who are trying to be romantic and show their women that side of their personality?

Well, don’t believe just because people tease you that you should stop being romantic.

Most of the women like guys who are romantic, who know how to show how much they like someone, by making some very thoughtful gestures.

When it comes to online dating, you can’t really do much, like buy some flowers, open and hold the door for them and such.

But, what you can do is show them you are a romantic person by describing some things you would like to do together with them, like for example, cook together, go on a boat ride, go for long walks together, etc.

That way, you will show them that you are not just a guy looking to have fast fun, but a person who has serious intentions and would like to show the real interest to maintain a relationship.

An Example:

‘Hi, I’m Jason, and I’m 28 years old. I work as an accountant in Boston.

Due to the large amount of work during a certain time of the year, during which I don’t have a lot of time for myself, I like to use as much of that time I have to enjoy with friends and people I like.

I would like to find a person who would like to spend that time with me.

I really enjoy the sunset to midnight walks, when you can go on the top of the hill and watch over the starry sky and the city lights. Relax under the moon on a blanket and a bottle of wine.

If you think you could be that person, give me a call!’

As you can see, Jason is a very romantic guy. It may sound funny to you, but this is what most women like.

So, if you are that kind of person as well, don’t be afraid to showcase it on your online dating profile.

You could be surprised at how good influence that could have on your profile and how much it could help you to find the right person for you.

3. Say what you like and why

Saying that you enjoy doing something is a good thing for your dating profile, but saying both what you like and why is way better.

Some guys like to make a list of random things they supposedly like, just to impress women and later when they meet each other, these men just ignore what they had previously written, which often leads to disappointments.

So, what is the solution?

How to make your profile stand out of the crowd of liars?

It’s easy:

Just be honest and share things that you like, but add one more ingredient. Give the reason why you like doing all those things.

That way, girls will get a better understanding of your personality.

That way, the list of things you like would not just be the list of random things but would become alive and show a picture about who you really are.

Examples

‘…In my free time, I like to go swimming for an hour or two. It calms me and helps me release the stress I get on the job…’

‘…Being a writer is not an easy job. You could say that every one of us needs to have a certain activity or place to go in order to get some new ideas to write or to deal with the daily stress in order to start fresh the next day.

For me, that stress vent is going on the long run along the shore, where I just turn on some music, put headphones and run for a couple of miles…’

 As you can see, stating why you like something gives a better understanding of your actions and activities, which describes your personality and help girls decide whether you would be a good match for them or not.

4. Stand out of the crowd

There are thousands of online dating profiles out there, meaning there are thousands of potential matchups.

In order for you to meet the right person for you, you have to make your profile stand out and be different than all other generic profiles with almost the same description.

So, if you have a certain characteristic or a hobby that not too many people have, do not be afraid to share it on your online dating profile.

‘…I have a pet spider, whose name is Mike…’

The previous statement about having an exotic pet may be looked upon as weird pet to have, and a lot of girls would be, let’s put it simply, chased away from you.

However, there are girls who also enjoy the same things, so they might be drawn closer to you, feel intrigued and contact you for that reason.

If you don’t open up a bit, you will just seem like all other guys out there, who don’t have anything special to showcase, or perhaps has, but didn’t want to share it.

Either way, your chances of finding the right person for yourself are much smaller than opening up and sharing some special interests and hobbies.

For example, you might like a certain movie type or a book genre. Make sure to share that information with the dating site users.

You never know what people like and don’t like before you meet someone. But you do know what you yourself like, so don’t be afraid to share it with other people.

Let’s see the full example below.

An Example

‘Hello, my name is John. I am 24 years old, coming from Seattle. I was curious about whether this type of dating even works, so I decided to try it out. Here are a few details about myself.

While I was in college, I trained swimming to stay in good shape and health.

In general, I am a sportsperson. You could say that I like almost every type of sport.

In my free time, I usually do some sport, either basketball with friends, or just go to a gun range and do some shooting, which always calms me and lets me think about everything in piece.

Also, I really like to read novels, especially historical novels, or novels set in a certain part of the historical setting. My favorite writer is Ken Follet.

I really enjoyed his “Pillars of the Earth” novel, but my favorite is the “Clash of Titans”, which is a series of three novels, each set in a different time period, following several people and their families over the course of all those years.

If you are a bit intrigued by what I had said, let me know what your favorite book is. Ciao!’

5. Don’t use too many negatives

When you are in a relationship, you will have to make compromises. It is an inevitable part of each successful relationship.

The good way to show those girls out there that you are prepared to make compromises is not to use too many negatives in your profile description.

Let’s see what exactly I meant by saying this.

Examples

‘Hi! My name is Marc, and I am 25 years old. I work as a lawyer in Atlanta. In my free time, I like long walks and hiking because it makes me feel fresh and relaxed.

What I really don’t like is clubbing and wasting too much time on partying. I would rather spend time with that special person by doing something more romantic and meaningful.’

As you can see in this example, this guy sounds like he is not ready to make compromises and would only do what he thinks is fun, leaving his better half disappointed.

Most women don’t like being dictated like this, especially today, when the equality between men and women is much more important than before.

‘Hi! My name is Marc, and I am 25 years-old lawyer from Atlanta. In my free time, I like to go take long walks and hiking because it makes me feel fresh and relaxed.

You could say I am not really a party person since I rarely go clubbing and such, but I do like going out there from time to time, especially with the people I like…’

This second example tells people what Marc likes and what he doesn’t like so much, but it leaves open possibilities even when he said he doesn’t like partying too much.

This means he is ready to make compromises if it would please his partner. Those types of guys will always have higher chances to find a good match.

Truth be told, girls like when men sometimes choose them over some men-related activities.

6. Save something for the meetup

One of the greatest charms of being in a relationship in the past is getting to know your partner over time.

Online dating somehow changed that.

People tend to write all about themselves, leaving almost nothing to be discovered by talking to that person.

However, that is not always a good thing.

In order to impress someone and get to know them, it is much better to leave some things out of your profile and talk in person.

That way, you can try to read a person’s eyes and see their reaction to what you have to say. It’s a pretty nice way to connect with someone and see if there is chemistry between you at all.

It’s all part of the excitement and joy of being in a relationship.

Without it, things would get boring too fast, and people would just move on.

7. Use quotes

When you decide to create your own dating profile, you should use everything available to you, whether it is your special skills, some distinctive characteristic or some simple things that may sound appealing to other people.

If you read a lot and you have a favorite writer or even favorite quotes, you should mention some of it on your dating profile.

Some people may find it silly, but quotes can say a lot about people.

They can teach you what kind of person someone is, which is very important for dating, especially if you are looking for a certain type.

8. Be clear about what you’re expecting of a potential match

When it comes to online dating, there are usually two types of people:

  1. ones that want to have a casual relationship, with the possibility of marriage if things go in the right way and
  2. those who just want to have some fun, either once or from time to time.
It is very important to state what you are looking for, in order to avoid confusion.

Sometimes people just want to have some fun, and they would contact you, everything would be great, and then after a great night, she would just leave.

If you are a guy just looking for fun, you would be fine with that, but if you would like to meet a girl for something more serious, then you would feel very bad after it.

Therefore, it is better to be clear about what you want and what kind of person you are looking for.

1.      First Example

‘Hi, I’m Mike, and I’m 31 years old. I’ve never tried online dating so far, so I was curious to see if it really works.

I’m working as a mechanic, so if you need a car repaired, feel free to call me.

Haha, I’m just joking.

I didn’t come here to advertise my business but to try to find some nice girl, who would like to have some casual fun, without any obligations whatsoever.

However, if we get along, I am open to something more.’

2.      Second Example

‘Hi, I’m Jason, and I’m 28 years old. I work as an accountant in Boston.

Due to the large amount of work during a certain time of the year, during which I don’t have a lot of time for myself, I like to use as much of that time I have to enjoy with friends and people I like.

I would like to find a person who would like to spend that time with me.

I really enjoy the sunset to midnight walks, when you can go on the top of the hill and watch over the starry sky and the city lights.

Relax under the moon on a blanket and a bottle of wine. If you think you could be that person, give me a call!’

As you can see, these two profiles are very different.

Mike just wants to have some fun but is also open to the possibility of a real relationship.

Jason, on the other hand, is a very romantic guy, who wants to find a person to fulfill his day, the person with who he could spend romantic evenings and go on long walks.

9. Don’t avoid mentioning kids if you have them

One convenient thing about online dating is that you can easily not include the kids if you have them.

However, it is not a good idea to do so because what’s the point of dating someone if you will start the relationship with lies.

So, instead of hiding the fact that you have children, you should definitely include it in your profile description.

There are a lot of people who would just decide not to contact you because of it, but there are also a lot of them who wouldn’t mind, perhaps would even be more inclined to contact you.

Having kids is not something to be ashamed of, so there is really no reason to hide it. Instead, wear it as armor with pride.

10. Use lists

Not all of us are good writers. But, you don’t have to be Ernest Hemingway in order to write a good online dating profile.

A good alternative to stylish writing is simply to make lists with everything you want to add.

That way, you won’t have to worry much about your writing style and focus on things that you can actually do.

An Example

‘Hi, my name is Tim, and I am 37 years old. I work as a math teacher, and I have always been intrigued by whether this type of dating even works, so I decided to try it out.

My hobbies are table tennis, swimming, hiking, and bicycle riding. Apart from that, I really enjoy walking and running, but I do that less frequently than previous activities.

I’m well-organized, meticulous and funny. I have married 2 years ago, so you could say that I know how to make a woman smile and be happy.

I am looking for a nice woman who would like to enjoy these moments of fun and happiness with me. If you are that kind of person, feel free to contact me.’

In this example, you can see everything you would’ve seen if Tim hadn’t used the list and instead wrote it in several sentences.

However, it is much easier to read it like this, and some people prefer simplicity, so don’t be afraid to use lists to write your online dating profile.

11. Don’t just talk about one thing

Being in love with your job or your hobby is nice, but make sure not to talk about only that one thing because men, and people in general, with only one interest, are usually very boring to most people.

Another bad thing about it is that by writing about only one thing, you miss the opportunity to mention your other qualities.

Every one of us has a number of different qualities, even if we don’t know it.

The more you write about yourself, the better other people will be able to create a picture of your personality.

1.      John Number One

‘Howdy folks! My name is John, and I come from Dallas.

I work as a train engineer, and I’m really passionate about trains. I even have a personal collection of tiny trains in my garage.

My job can be a bit stressful, but you know, when you love something, it is not hard for you to do it. Making sure that trains move as they should really fill me in.

Anyway, if you are a nice lady who is interested in meeting up with me, feel free to message me.’

2.      John Number Two

‘Hello, my name is John. I am 24 years old, coming from Seattle. I was curious about whether this type of dating even works, so I decided to try it out.

Here are a few details about myself. While I was in college, I trained swimming to stay in good shape and health.

In general, I am a sportsperson. You could say that I like almost every type of sport.

In my free time, I usually do some sport, either basketball with friends, or just go to a gun range and do some shooting, which always calms me and lets me think about everything in piece.

Also, I really like to read novels, especially historical novels, or novels set in a certain part of a historical setting. My favorite writer is Ken Follet.

 I really enjoyed his “Pillars of the Earth” novel, but my favorite is the “Clash of Titans”, which is a series of three novels, each set in a different time period, following several people and their families over the course of all those years.

If you are a bit intrigued by what I had said, let me know what your favorite book is. Ciao!’

You can see how these two Johns are different.

The first one is very passionate about one thing, and he only talks about that one thing, while the other John is very passionate about sport, but he also wrote his other qualities and interests, which makes his profile looks way more interesting.

12. Open your soul

The main reason some people never get any matches on online dating sites is that they are usually very skeptical about opening up and sharing their own stories.

Thus, they end up writing almost generic-like profiles, instead of telling their own story.

Well, let me tell you something. That kind of thinking is completely wrong.

Yes, the internet can be a horrible place, with all the identity thefts and misuses of personal information, but we are not talking about sharing your credit card number here.

In order to have a nice profile, which would represent your own personality, you need to open up a bit, share your own story, let people get to know you.

Therefore, do not be afraid to write about your feelings, pets, children or any other thing you like, or perhaps about something you don’t like so much.

George’s Example of Opening Soul

‘Hi, I’m George. I’m 41 years-old from New York. I work as a bar owner, and I have two children, two grown-up sons. My wife, who was 35 at the time, died from cancer.

Now, after almost ten years, my boys are all grown up, and they keep telling me that I am young and that I need to find someone to be happy with, that it’s what their mom would want.

 And they might be right, who knows.

Anyway, that is why I decided to register here and try to find that special person who would like to spend nice moments with me, talking about all kinds of stuff.

Someone who would simply want to enjoy with me.

As for myself, due to my line of work, being my own boss basically, I am a very busy person, with a lot of things to think about when it comes to my job.

Apart from that, I like to spend my free time reading and listening to music, which calms me and helps me relax.

Also, I enjoy trying out new types of food whenever a new restaurant is open.

So, you won’t have to worry about me taking you to a bad place on our first date because I know almost every restaurant in New York.

If you are, food adventurer like me or you simply want to discuss your favorite novel with me, feel free to send me a message.’

As you can see, George had really opened up his soul and told his life story.

When you read his profile, you can notice what kind of person he is, what he likes and doesn’t like to do, and how much his children love him, which is saying a lot about someone.

By having a profile like this, you would have a much higher chance of meeting someone who could perhaps relate to your story, or even find your personality interesting in a certain way.

So, the lesson here is not to be afraid to open up and tell your personal story.