Hey all and welcome to my first date do’s and don’ts for men article!
There is one thing that is certain in the online dating world; getting a first date may be hard, but getting the second date is even harder.
Now if you are exploring online dating because you are interested in establishing a serious relationship and not just scoring dates, then your primary focus will be on making that special connection and getting past the first date to the second, third and so on.
We have searched and researched to uncover the secret to making that first date so (favorably) memorable that your date has no choice but to say yes to a second.
What we found is some amazingly powerful, proven tips that any guy can use to WOW his date, leave a positive lasting impression and leave them wanting more of you.
- Related read:
An insightful guide on how to create the perfect online dating profile for men. This guide is essential for men of all colors and age that are intending or already searching through online dating sites, looking for whom to share their life with.
Learn to Take Charge
Whereas a woman may be feeling jittery on a first date, the man is meant to have a firm grip and take the lead while not imposing his will but putting her needs and feelings into consideration while also making plans so they can both have a pleasurable outing which can be taken to the next level.
The First Step
Before your date begins, before you plan your date, or even before you meet that particular person, the number one secret to having an amazing first date starts first with choosing the right online dating service to suit your needs.
Think about it; if you are looking for a long-term committed relationship would you be comfortable going on a date with someone from Zoosk where most people are at best looking to socialize (not looking for anything serious) or at worst completely immature?
After you get the best dating sites that goes with your priority, then you set up your enchanting profile with fabulous sets of pictures to accompany it. You even choose a username name that best define you, then you are on.
Chances are if you went on that date it would be a complete disaster regardless of how well it was planned.
You should, therefore, ensure that you are using an online dating service that has a comprehensive matching system that takes into account every aspect of your personality.
First Date Dos
Now that you understand the main ingredient to a great first date let’s now examine some of the essential dating ‘dos’ that will not only lead to a great first date but also lead to a second date. Let’s dive in.
Don’t: Misrepresent Yourself Online – Okay so after you have found an online dating site that matches your needs you will need to create an online dating profile.
So why is this of any importance to your first date? Well for starters how would you like to see your date show up 100 pounds heavier and ten years older?
We are certain that you would be immensely disappointed. Now put yourself in their shoes, do you want to sell something that you are not?
Any lies that are told now will most definitely come back to haunt you eventually so save yourself the trouble and avoid the lies.
Tell it like it is. She will either love you or hate you, either way, she will have feelings for the real you.
Oh and yes this means not telling those little white lies as well.
Do: Plan the Date – Okay this probably should go without saying, but we will say it anyway – Plan the date.
Assuming that you are the one that mustered up the courage to ask her out then you should undoubtedly be the one to make the date plans.
When making your first date plans, it is wise to avoid the cliché dinner, and a movie as these have been played out.
Additionally, your date might not feel comfortable being so close to you in a dark movie theater, even though it is in a public place.
Instead of dinner and a movie review their online dating profile for possible date ideas.
But Give Her Options – Planning the date is a significant first step to a memorable first date; however, if you want to kick it up a notch how about giving your date a few options to choose from.
Giving your date some options shows her that you took the time to look through her online profile and see the things that she either likes to do or wants to do.
Don’t: Ask Her to Make Suggestions – When you ask your potential date to make some date suggestions or say to them that you will do anything that they like it:
- Put a lot of undue pressure on the person and
- Shows that you have not taken the time to learn about the things that are of interest to her
Do: Offer to Pick Her Up – Yes, yes we know that just about everyone who is old enough to date is old enough to drive and most likely has their car; however, it is always a nice gesture to offer to pick up your date.
Just be mindful of the fact that they might prefer to meet you somewhere else so do be flexible and understanding.
First Date Do’s and Don’ts: While on the Date
So now it feels like we are getting somewhere, as now we are about to dive into some of the things that you should do (and not do) while you are actually on the first date together.
Open the Door for Her – Being a gentleman never gets old and never goes out of style.
This might seem old fashioned, but most women will appreciate you for it.
While we are on the subject of being a gentleman, if your date expresses that they are cold then do offer them your jacket.
The Talk (Interaction)
Therefore there are a few things that you MUST do to make it memorable.
Do: Allow her to Speak – Normally women are good at communicating; they will ask a lot of questions and pay attention to the person that they are speaking to.
Sadly some men are so nervous on their first date that they talk and talk and talk and their date never gets the chance to put a word in.
Sure we understand that you do this because you are nervous and can’t quite seem to control yourself; however, do give her as much opportunity to speak as you do.
Not only will this prevent the awkward silence that your date will feel, but it will also give your date the chance to make meaningful contributions to the conversation.
Do: Listen – We cannot stress this enough. Now listening isn’t just looking blankly at your date and pretending to follow them, or planning the next thing that you will say, or thinking about that business meeting that you will have in the morning, or looking at the other cute girl across the room.
Listening is paying keen attention to what your date is saying, looking at them, asking relevant questions and showing that you are interested in what they are saying with the appropriate body language.
Oh; mindless nodding and ‘oh-um’ sounds to fake listening do not count.
Do: Pay Attention to Her – Guys we understand that you are typically visual creatures; however, women know when you are looking at them or looking at the other woman across the room (or the game that is playing on the TV behind her).
Not looking at a woman when she speaks is merely telling her that you are not that interested in her and this will score you no brownie points or second date.
Here is a bit of factual information that you might not be aware of: when you make eye contact with a woman while she is speaking she greatly appreciates it.
This appreciation will, in turn, make her feel comfortable around you, which could invariably lead to her bonding with you more than had you not looked at her while she was speaking.
Do: Pay Her Compliments – This is so easy to do, and yet so many men neglect to compliment their date appropriately.
Women naturally love to be complimented, that is why they spent so much time stressing over what they would wear or how they would style their hair.
They do this because they want you to notice them and tell them how good you think they look.
If there is something about her that you notice and like don’t be afraid to tell her.
Don’t: Over-Compliment her – As lovely as compliments can be, there is such a thing as over-complimenting.
Over-complimenting can come across as desperate at best and downright creepy at worst.
Your date can also misinterpret over-complimenting as being fake and meaningless.
Don’t: Bring up the Past – Guys please leave the past where it belongs – in the past.
You are not allowed to talk about ex-girlfriends/wives/boyfriends/parents. It is also best to avoid previous dating experiences; the exception being a hilarious dating experience that might serve as an ice-breaker.
Don’t: Talk about Religion or Politics – This is a very sensitive topic for just about everyone and when people disagree they tend to disagree bitterly.
That being said do not bring up these subjects, the only exception being if these topics are deal-breakers then certainly you will want to hear their thoughts.
Do: Be Positive – People love being around positive people so please display positive body language throughout your date.
While you’re at it speak positive words as well.
Do: Be Charming, Yet Respectful – A little light-heartedness and a lot less complaining goes a long way.
You need to flirt a bit, yes, Flirting is good; however, try not to take it to the point of perversion.
Do: Be Supportive – If the type of date that you are on involves an activity such as kayaking, hiking or some form of physical activity then make an offer to lend a helping hand to your date if she is having difficulty with the activity.
You want the date to be fun and enjoyable for the both of you and not just about showing her how good you really are.
You can show off your skills some other time (preferably with your friends).
Now please be careful with this tip as some women will frown upon you lending them a hand especially if it seems as if you are not allowing them the chance to show off their skills (or try).
More amazing stuff from our press:
- The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating for Women in 2019
- The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating for Men/Women in 2019
- The Ultimate Long Distance Relationship Survival Guide
First Date Do’s and Don’ts: Dating and Food
Okay, so this is another thing to consider, especially if there will be food of any kind during your first date.
We all know that garlic of any kind isn’t date food and therefore should be avoided at all costs.
However, some other food types fall under the category of “never eat this while you’re on date number one.”
Here’s a list of date unfriendly foods according to our findings.
Garlic – This involves garlic of any kind: garlic bread, garlic chicken, err on the side of caution and avoid all things garlic.
Ribs – Yes we know that ribs are, in the words of a popular fast food restaurant, “Its Finger-licking’ Good,” but honestly if you must use your fingers to eat then there is nothing good about it at all.
Finger Foods – Okay while we are talking about avoiding eating with your fingers on date number one, let’s say that all finger foods should be avoided.
Buffalo Wings – Avoid this food for the same reason for avoiding ribs.
Spaghetti – Think about how you usually eat spaghetti, it is usually long and dangly, and you generally have to slurp it to get it all into your mouth.
Now think about seeing your love interest doing that on date number one; do you think that this is romantic and attractive?
Chances are you do not. This being said, please avoid eating spaghetti or any noodle type foods on your first date.
Super Large Burgers – You know those super high burgers that feels like you have to take your jaws apart to fit it in?
Yeah, those; avoid them on your first date.
Super Sauce Sloppy Joes – Now we know that most people love a good sloppy Joe and nothing is wrong with that at all.
However, on date number one let’s suggest not going with the ones that have so much sauce that it is dripping down your mouth.
If the food that you are about to eat has the possibility of dripping down your chin, we suggest that you avoid them.
Food Substitutes – So you look at the menu, and you know that ordering a particular item will mean making changes, requiring substitution or the elimination of a particular ingredient.
If any of these actions must be performed on your meal, then choose something else. Why? Substituting or eliminating more than one ingredient will only make you appear high-maintenance and overly picky and can be seen as a big turnoff.
Back to the overall date now as there are a few more tips to keep in mind.
Do: Pay – Yes pay and pay for everything. This includes the entrance fee to the venue of choice to the meal(s) that is ordered on the date.
Now do not be mistaken that you need to dole out a lot of money on your date as a great date can be had without breaking the bank. It is just a nice gesture that goes a far way.
I also have a good amount of comparison articles that are helpful for choosing the right dating site for you. Check these out: eHarmony vs Match, Chemistry vs Match, Chemistry vs eHarmony and eHarmony vs OkCupid!
Here are awesome guides to creating an online dating profile that will help you from the point of registering on a dating site to the point of nailing your first date and subsequent dates. Do check it out and come back with testimonies.